Nation’s HDs Threaten National Security

FNN National Security reporter, James Bund, filed this report. Mr Bund is a former MI-6 agent cashiered for unsavory behavior.

A new secret document released by Edward Snowden reveals the NSA is disgusted by the state of the hard drives on home computers. The lack of logical organization, the indecipherable file names and innumerable useless files combined with the extensive pornography have frustrated the NSA as they try to track threats to the country.

In the report, the NSA listed two examples of how the disorganized hard drives delayed investigations until the project was abandoned rather than continue to waste resources on the hard drive search investigations.

In one case, a terror plot was uncovered. It planned to destroy silos filled with cattle feed in order to drive up the price of meat and thus harm the nation’s economy. The terrorist was believed to be in the Buffalo, NY area so the NSA hacked into over a quarter million home computers. Because of the disgraceful state of the hard drives and the porn that had to be investigated to see if they contained hidden messages, thirty-five analysts wasted two years trying to find clues to the terrorists before the project was abandoned. The wasted effort cost the taxpayers over a quarter billion dollars.

In the second case, NSA learned of a plot to infiltrate a secret location and modify the atomic clock used to time the internet and other national resources. If successful, it would make the atomic clock lose five minutes per year. Such a small change would disrupt airline and train schedules, play havoc with TV and radio shows and cause many other problems. The plot was believed to be centered around Farmburg in Iowa. The NSA hacked into every home computer in the area, but were again frustrated because of the disorganized hard drives.

The report concluded by urging all schools be forced to teach a course on how to properly organize a hard drive and how to name files in a meaningful manner.

The report stated the NSA analysts assigned to the hard drive investigations have to be reassigned after three months of working on the hard drives because of the frustrations of being unable to figure out what was on the computers.

The NSA denies the events in the report ever happened. It also reports that it has no problems with infiltrating and reading home computer hard drive files but it insists it does not do this and never would do anything as despicable as spying on a citizen’s home computer.

FNN will monitor this issue for future developments.

Hank Quense is the author of 50 published short stories along with four novels and three collections of stories. All of these are humorous and/or satiric scifi and fantasy. In the non-fiction area, he has over a dozen articles published on fiction writing and he’s the author of the Fiction Writing Guides series and the Self-publishing Guides series. Both series consist of a number of ebooks. The Fiction Writing Guides and the Self-Publishing Guides are an outgrowth of his lectures on both subjects.

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